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Being non-monogamous myself, they were perfect for what I wanted. There was no jealousy or issues about attention. In fact, there was a time I texted her to see if she wanted to hang out and she said she was out of town but her husband was at home if I wanted to see him.

This is especially important if you're the third, since you want to protect yourself from any feelings they might have between each other that might affect you.

If you're doing it with your partner, make the whole process feel like a team activity. Come up with rules together.

Find your third together. Plan the night together. You really feel like you're in this together and are learning about one another.

Lots of guys are surprisingly cool with sleeping with their friends in a threesome situation, at least. When I got to my partner's house for the threesome, he turned it into a proposition for a foursome.

But approach having sex with two guys who are friends with each other with caution. It was a bit overwhelming but I went with it and it was the steamiest sex I've ever had.

Finding a third person who everyone is attracted to can take a really, really long time. Ask all the vital questions before the night of the threesome.

Always bring an extra condom. You might be shocked by the roles you end up enjoying. Be open-minded. You will definitely get weirded out the first time that third hand touches you.

You get so used to only having to account for one person that when another person gets thrown into the mix, it throws you off for a second.

It doesn't matter how many threesomes I've had, that moment doesn't go away. Another option: Arrange yourselves in a circle, and go down on each other.

If it ever seems like one party is left out, reach over and start playing with that person. This will help them get back in on the action.

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Let your partner know and stick to the rules. Have a safe word in case you get uncomfortable. If your first threesome goes well, you can adjust the rules for next time.

The show is available now on iTunes here and on Soundcloud here. Metro bloggers Miranda Kane and Bibi Lynch co-host the show, chatting to a different guest about all things sex and relationships each week.

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Skylar and I decided to experiment with non-monogamy for the pure fun of it. We love each other deeply, but admitted that we were definitely curious about other people — sexually, at least.

We're both super adventurous people in the bedroom, so the thought of adding group sex to our repertoire excited us to no end.

However, we also had many doubts and concerns. What is sex with three people like? Would this experience be as daunting as when we were dating people separately?

Was group sex for us? Undeterred by our anxieties, we set out to have a threesome, and ended up having a pretty fun time. Here are some things we learned from our experience.

Before beginning our search, we determined what kind of person we would be looking for: someone who was kinky, queer, had a vagina, and prioritized consent over everything else.

Luckily, my partner and I both have the same taste in people, so agreeing on this wasn't difficult. But if your preferences differ from your lover's, it's important to make sure you're both on the same page and choose people unanimously, rather than trying to pressure your partner to hook up with someone they're not so into.

And once we applied filters to our OKCupid account accordingly, we got connected with a ton of cuties right up our alley.

Going through people on the app and deciding whether or not to "like" them not only made us realize how incredibly similar our types are, but also helped us further in figuring out what exactly that type even is.

After having been off the dating market for over a year, we were both a bit rusty. So relearning these things about ourselves together was super fun.

On our profile and in the messages we sent, Skylar and I made sure to be crystal clear about our intentions, needs, and limitations.

We were a couple looking for a casual playmate to have kinky and consensual sex with, sans penetration due to my vaginismus.

Once we found a third who fit the description we laid out, we had a very long and detailed conversation with her about what we like and don't like in the bedroom.

There was also a lot of small talk as we got to know one another, which we think is pretty essential. Once all three of us felt comfortable, we set a date to meet up for dinner and have sex afterwards, if things went well.

Things did go pretty well, but before we started having sex, we took time to establish safe words and continued to check in and ask for consent throughout the entire time we were having sex all things that should be a given.

One boundary we set was that our third would not sleep over, and if they did, they'd have to leave pretty early in the morning for courtesy reasons.

However, Skylar and I were each too shy to assert ourselves on this when the time came, leading our third to stick around for much longer than was comfy for each of us.

We now know for next time that vocalizing our needs and enforcing the boundaries we set previously is super important.

And even if it feels awkward to speak up, we have each other there for support. My partner and I imagined the room being dominated by our own dynamic during our threesome, with our third alternating between being the extra wheel and the person we are both pleasuring simultaneously.

However, things went much differently when the woman, who had never had sex with an AFAB assigned female at birth person like myself, gravitated much more toward my penis-having partner.

This was my first time having sex with a woman in addition to being my first threesome, so I was disappointed about having less of an opportunity to participate in and learn from this experience.

Of course, it's perfectly natural for people to have favorites — though we did both think she could've tried to make her feelings just a little less obvious.

Our threesome inspired a bit of jealousy in me afterwards, which I felt a bit ashamed about and was nervous to admit to my partner.

The morning after, I awakened to the woman spooning a sleeping Skylar while gently kissing their neck and shoulder. This annoyed me, and made Skylar feel uncomfortable as well once they woke up.

After she insisted on us getting breakfast together, she held Skylar's hand on the street as we walked. Neither of us were comfortable addressing this behavior until we finally parted ways with her.

I expressed to Skylar my worry that they were into her inappropriate behavior. However, they assured me that they were just as weirded out. With all new experiences, especially those sexual in nature, personal insecurities are bound to be brought to the forefront.

Not enough to deter us from future shenanigans, though. Having hands all over you doing multiple jobs at once is pretty exciting and indulgent.

But coordinating three bodies instead of two when deciding the next position can be awkward. The longer you move around and talk it out, the easier it gets.

Just remember to laugh on the way. Here's how. If you're a single woman, Morse suggests dating sites, like Plenty of Fish , where couples may be looking for a third.

The same goes for CraigsList—although she warns that you might find lots of weirdos, so you'll want to FaceTime or, better yet, meet them in a public place in person first.

Another option is to go to your local sex toy store and talk to someone there, says Morse. You can ask the owners or clerks about what goes on in the community and probably find some fliers for parties or clubs.

Keep in mind that whether it's two women and a man or two men and a woman is entirely up to you as an individual or as a couple, although female-female-male is more common because guys tend to be less open-minded about including another man.

That being said, a woman should never cave in just because her partner is pushing his preference. Watch men and women spill the honest truth about exactly what they think about cheating:.

If that goes well, then you can think about making a more direct ask. A simple, "Hey, my partner and I think you're fun and you're cool.

We want to have a threesome, and we think you'd be a good time. Is that something you'd be open to?

If you know the person, make it clear that you don't want the friendship to change. If it's a stranger or someone you connected with online, take some time to get to know each other first.

Hang out to see if you're attracted to the person and could trust them. But don't worry too much about making the big ask. The person on the receiving end will be flattered, no matter what.

You should also tell the third person to speak up if he or she is ever uncomfortable.

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